Experiences
by alcimines
Summary: Logan and Rogue aren't fated to be a lovers. But that doesn't mean Rogue hasn't been very intimate with him - quite a few times.


EXPERIENCES

Mystique

The relationship between Rogue and Mystique went well beyond words like "complex" or "conflicted". When Rogue was a frightened and abandoned child, Raven gave her a home and did her best to take care of Rogue. And no matter what happens between them, Rogue can't help but love Raven for that.

At first, Raven's plan was simply to develop Rogue into a loyal, useful, and powerful accomplice. When you think about it, the level of long-term commitment that particular scheme demanded of Raven was quite impressive.

It was when Rogue left Raven to join the X-Men, that Raven realized that she actually loved her foster daughter. Mind you, Mystique's understanding of 'love' is different than the rest of humanity. After all, in their own way, wolves love deer.

For her part, Rogue veered wildly between hating and loving her adoptive mother. It was something she didn't talk about - even with Kurt or Logan, two people who also had more than their fair share of contradictory emotions concerning Raven.

One thing Rogue particularly didn't like to talk about was the first time she came into physical contact with Raven. It was an accident. Rogue was thirteen and experimenting with clothes that were a bit too daring for her own good. And then her bare arm accidentally brushed up against her mother's...

At the time, Rogue had very little control over her powers. The wave of memories that flooded into Rogue's mind were so intense that they knocked her unconscious. What Rogue learned about Raven in those few seconds was terribly revealing. She 'saw' her adoptive mother kill, steal, lie, and betray - often without the slightest trace of conscience. It was the first crack in the wall of Rogue's affection for Raven.

That was also when Rogue first 'met' Logan.

_Mexico, decades ago. Logan and Raven's bodies were intertwined on a bed in a cheap, border-town hotel. At first, the scene was a comfortably sensual tangle of smooth blue and hairy white skin. But then Raven transformed into a new form - a short, slender Mestizo girl_

_"I saw you eyeing this one this afternoon," Raven said with a smile that wasn't her own._

_Logan returned her smile and then their lips met._

_The new form reduced the awkwardness caused by the difference between Logan and Raven's height. And Raven's ability to provide constant variety kept things interesting for both of them..._

"Are you all right?" Raven asked worriedly once Rogue woke up.

"I... I'm fine, Mom," Rogue said dazedly, slowly sitting up in her bed. She was having a hard time processing what she had learned about Raven - and the world of adults in general.

As Raven combined fussing over Rogue with a stern lecture about controlling her powers and dressing sensibly, Rogue wondered about the intimate memories she had glimpsed. In particular, she thought about the man who had been with Raven in Mexico. During the transfer experience, Rogue hadn't caught his name, and she knew it had happened a long time ago, but Rogue was sure she would recognize him if they ever met.

* * *

Ms. Marvel

Carol Danvers was the beginning of the end of Rogue's career as a super-villain. Rogue ended a confrontation with Carol by stealing her powers. However, Rogue went too far and took too much. It took years for Carol to get over the trauma of the experience and recover her powers. It took years for Rogue to get Carol out of her head.

Eventually, Rogue realized to her surprise that the man who had been in Raven's memories was also in Carol's.

_Vietnam, well after the war. They were in a shot-to-pieces truck hidden in the jungle next to a half-wrecked and partially overgrown rural airstrip. The airstrip was a leftover from the wartime decades of violence. The two of them were tensely waiting for a SHIELD stealth chopper to arrive. Hopefully, it would show up before the Vietnamese Army found them._

_Boredom and fear are a powerful combination that often drives people to do the unexpected. The next thing Carol knew, her pants were off and she was on her hands and knees on the truck bench. Logan was behind her, straining against her. They made love in an eerie silence that was only broken by the occasional growl or moan that they dragged out of each other._

_This is so unprofessional, Carol gasped to herself. So damned unprofessional. But at least it kept her from thinking about how close she was to capture and death._

As Rogue tried to sort her way through the rush of Carol's emotions and experiences, she recognized the man who had made love to Carol. But... how was that possible? The time difference between then and when he and Raven had been in Mexico was at least 50 years, but it didn't look like he'd aged at all.

Perhaps it was a son or grandson?

Carol was the tipping point. Rogue had used her powers too indiscriminately and it was becoming increasingly impossible to deal with the conglomeration of personalities clashing together in her mind. Within a few weeks, Rogue was forced to admit that she needed help that her mother simply couldn't provide. And that was how she ended up with the X-Men.

Somehow, Rogue managed to hide her shock when she finally met Logan face-to-face.

* * *

Yukio

Rogue only came into contact with Yukio once. It was in a back-alley somewhere in a part of Tokyo that the tourist guides didn't mention. They were fighting ninjas - of course. Rogue was in over her head and needed a quick boost. Yukio helped without the slightest trace of hesitation. Their fingers intertwined and...

_The room was a pit. The walls were water-stained and covered with discolored, peeling paint. The floorboards were warped and worn. A single window, its glass cracked like a spider-web, gave a breath-taking vista of a brick wall on the opposite side of the alley outside Yukio's apartment._

_Logan and Yukio didn't care. Their sweat-soaked bodies were eagerly locked together on a worn futon. A discarded blanket was thrown to one side._

_And then Ororo - gloriously naked - padded out of the bathroom on bare feet. Getting on her knees, she kissed Yukio on the top of her head and Logan between his shoulder blades, and then lithely wiggled her way onto the futon and into an eager tangle of limbs._

Back in the real world, Rogue blinked in shocked surprise. And then blinked again.

"Oh..." Rogue whispered to herself. Everyone knew that Logan and Yukio were... well... 'fuck-buddies' was a crude way of putting it, but was actually pretty accurate. And it was no secret that Logan and Ororo occasional shared each other's company. And most people assumed that Ororo and Yukio were more than just friends.

Honestly, why hadn't it occurred to anyone to do the math?

And then a ninja tried to decapitate Rogue. She snapped back into the reality of the battle and broke both of the ninja's arms.

After the fight, if Yukio noticed how Rogue couldn't quite meet her eyes, she never said anything about it.

* * *

Black Widow

It wasn't really necessary, but Natasha did need to transfer her skills to Rogue, and the Black Widow had a useful reputation for studied sensuality that was worth maintaining. So Natasha kissed Rogue.

Over the years, Rogue had become much better at filtering the rush of emotions and memories that occurred whenever she touched someone. The days of her being incapacitated by the experience were gone. Usually.

However, Rogue did tend to immediately pick out the contact-memories that related to the people and things that mattered to her. It was another sign of how her control of her powers had improved.

_This was just business, Natasha told herself. This is what she did. Get close to the target. Become intimate. Then use that intimacy to get what she needed - or more precisely what her masters in the KGB wanted. Her trainers had been coldly clear: her body was merely another instrument to be used in the pursuit of the mission. Whatever show she put on for the benefit of the target should be just that - a show. Otherwise, she had to remain calm, cool, and in complete control._

_Then Natasha closed her eyes, clenched every muscle in her body, and dug her teeth into Logan's shoulder so hard that she drew blood. She wouldn't let him hear her scream her way through another orgasm. She wouldn't._

Rogue shook her head. She could tell that the memory was from long ago. Of course, it was no surprise that Logan had been around during the frozen depths of the Cold War, but how old was the Natasha? She looked like she was in her early-thirties, but how many years had it been since the collapse of the Soviet Union?

"Focus," Natasha told Rogue sternly as she handed her the sniper rifle.

Rogue took the weapon and used her newly acquired expertise to quickly and efficiently chamber a cartridge. Meanwhile, in a part of her mind that she was trying to calm down, Logan was expertly exploring the more sensitive parts of her body...

"Goddamit Logan", Rogue quietly growled to herself as she shouldered the rifle. "Just now many notches do you have on your bedpost?"

If Natasha heard what Rogue had said, she didn't show any sign.

* * *

Domino

Another mission and another fight. Cable's new version of X-Force was a problem and Alex's Avengers squad was trying to deal with it.

Rogue managed to get the drop on Domino.

Rogue was a bit surprised at the range of Neena's romantic history. Neena spent a lot of time with various boy-toys, but still had a taste for a more substantial kind of man. Her time with Cable was a bittersweet memory of something that had once been important, but was now gone. And Rogue was pretty sure that the relationship Neena had going with Peter wouldn't last. Peter wasn't a "friends with benefits" kind of guy.

But guess who else was showed up in the mixture of Domino's memories?

_I'm just using Logan, Domino told herself. That's all. I need him to help me deal with the Assassin's Guild. And sex is just something I have to do to get his cooperation. Do this right, and I get to live, while making a lot of money in the process._

_It was just business. All very professional and mercenary._

_Yeah. That was it._

_Oh... who the hell was she kidding? Domino sighed in exasperation as she wrapped her legs around Logan's body, closed her eyes, and allowed her mouth to describe a perfect 'O' of pleasure_.

Rogue had never been intimate with Logan. There was a long list of good reasons that it wasn't in the cards. But at the same time, she'd made love to him more than any other woman.

* * *

Storm

The fully-loaded 747 had an engine on fire and wasn't going to be able to make it to the nearest airport. But by using their powers, the Shi'ar-enhanced Blackbird, and a lot of mid-air acrobatics, the X-Men might be able to land the airliner safely.

That led to some dangerous aerial daring-do a couple of miles above the Sierra Nevada mountains. And since Betsy had been so kind as to let Rogue borrow her acrobatic abilities, that was actually a lot of fun. But then the 747's engine exploded. The concussion threw Rogue from the airliner's wing and into thin air.

Ororo caught Rogue just before she hit the ground - a mid-air tackle that was less than gentle. Without intending to, the side of Ororo's face pressed up against Rogue's neck.

Rogue and Ororo had done that before, but it had been a while. Memories of New York, Cairo, and the Serengeti flickered through Ororo's mind. The taste, touch, and feel of Forge and T'Challa and Yukio was there as well. But once again, memories of Logan and Ororo together were prominent.

_They were in Ororo's bed in the mansion loft, surrounded by the small jungle of Ororo's garden. Their lips met and the doubts that were nagging at Ororo - that this was just an act of petty revenge against her ex-husband - vanished. She and Logan had an on-and-off relationship that Ororo knew was more about friendship and physical compatibility than love. It was marvelous and without complications, and that was where she needed to be right now._

"Stop kidding yourself, sugar. He loves you. And you love him," Rogue said dazedly as she tried to stagger to her feet. She hadn't intended to say anything, but the words had just popped out of her mouth.

"What?" Ororo yelled as she helped Rogue up. They were on a mountain top and the wind was howling so hard that Ororo hadn't been able to make out what Rogue has said.

Rogue just smiled and shook her head.

It was just as well the Ororo hadn't heard. They had to sort it out themselves.

* * *

Logan

Logan was damn near dead. Rogue held him close, cradling his head in her arms as they whispered to each other. Then Rogue took off her glove and gently stroked the side of his bloody face. Lives were on the line and there was a mission to complete. And Rogue had every intention finishing the job. But she would need Logan with her to do that.

Logan subsided into unconsciousness. That was for the best. He needed time to heal.

All that was Logan entered Rogue. It wasn't the first time - and it wouldn't be the last. Whenever this happened, she remembered the first time they'd touched. It was just after she joined the X-Men. Nobody had trusted her, but Logan gave her a chance. And he saved her when she was dying by willingly sharing his regeneration power with her.

Rogue shivered as Logan's memories entered her once again. Decades of pain and betrayal. Black ops and dirty secrets. Friendships and loves. The wild thrill of blood and violence. The ache of death and loss.

Logan's women were in the maelstrom of memories... Rose, Silver Fox, Jean, Mariko, Yukio, Itsu, Melita, Raven, Natasha, Carol, Neena, Ororo - and so many others, over so many years. Some had been casual encounters. Some he had deeply cared for. Most of them were now long gone, taken by age and time, or ended by the endless, pitiless violence that seemed to follow Logan wherever he went.

And then there was Rogue herself. Seen through Logan's eyes and heart.

_The kid was dying, her eyes desperate and afraid. She had come to the X-Men pleading for help, and nobody had trusted her. But the Professor had seen fit to take her in. Logan wasn't even sure why he'd brought her to Japan with him. Perhaps the fact that Rogue needed a chance - a chance to become something else than what the world had made her - resonated with him? After all, Logan understood what she was going through. He'd been the distrusted outsider for almost his entire life._

_He wouldn't let her die. Rogue protested that is was dangerous, but she was too far gone to stop Logan as he pressed his lips against hers. The strange, draining, weariness of her power wrapped itself around Logan and he felt his strength flow into her. She began to heal..._

Rogue broke away from Logan's memory of their first kiss.

Rogue's relationship with Logan was strange enough. She was one of Logan's 'kids' - the girls he mentored and protected - so he only peripherally recognized her as a woman. And that was fine. After all, what she had with Remy was good, and she wouldn't throw it away for the world. But a part of her couldn't help but wonder about what might have been. During her time with the X-Men, Rogue had seen strange futures and alternative worlds. Was it possible that in one of them, she and Logan were together? And happy?

Rogue firmly cut off that train of thought. She had a job to do. There was a mission.

I seemed like there was always a mission.

After carefully laying Logan down on the floor, Rogue climbed to her feet. The pain that lanced through her as she extended her claws was bright and terrible. Not for the first time, she marveled at how Logan so casually endured it.

As she walked towards her latest storm of fury and violence, Rogue wasn't scared or even worried. After all, Logan's strength and ferocity was with her.

And that was enough.


End file.
